My name is Brittani Elizabeth Ewald. I chose the title for my blog Pressure Produces Diamonds because it seemed fitting with my life story. Life is about love, belonging, relationships, choices, chances, hopes, and aspirations. Life is almost always confusing, relationships tend to get messy, and love can be both gained & lost in a single instant. I've learned that in this dance we call life other people have the ability to make choices that will impact our lives forever & cause us to question everything we once believed in. Innocence is too easily stolen away but like a diamond that is produced due to extreme pressure, we are molded, refined, and beautiful because of our experiences, heartaches, successes, friendships, relationships, and individual journeys.
February 28th, 2012
He Left the 99
Today I was reading previous journal entries from the past 4 years. Seeing how much I’ve endured and grown is absolutely astonishing. If I would have known back then the future hardships I would face, I probably would have curled into the fetal position and said “count me out”.
As I was reading, one central theme prevailed through each entry and stood out to me. It was the Lord’s faithfulness. No matter how dark things became God never turned his face away. He relentlessly pursued me, even when in my own flesh that was the last thing I desired. My emotions fluctuated, my circumstances changed, but the Lord remained the same.
Reading through the entries made me laugh and smile and cry. In conclusion I was reminded about the Parable of the Lost Sheep. I was that Lost sheep. More like a stubborn, know it all sheep, who still tries to run away even after she’s lost an eye and two legs. But regardless, God deemed me valuable and left the 99 to find me and bring me back.
When a sheep continually runs off a Shepard will break the lambs legs and carry it on his back in order to get the animal to understand dependency. The past couple months I’ve been learning a lot about yielding, trusting, surrendering, and discipline. These are not qualities that come naturally and it’s been a struggle but I swear I can hear His voice saying “Are we gonna do the next four years my way? Cuz we both know how well the last four worked out…” and I think it’s time. Although I have grown a tremendous amount, life is a never ending process of growth and I am excited to see what the future holds for me. :) <3
September 23rd, 2011
I think Taekwondo is a lot like life. It requires mental, emotional, and physical sacrifice. It takes strength, endurance, self-control and patience to make it through successfully. You almost never get it right the first time and you must learn from your mistakes in order to thrive. Giving up really isn’t an option even though sometimes it’s so tiring & painful quitting sounds like a wonderful idea. You’re competing against others and yet teamwork is crucial. You can’t possibly complete the goal (obtaining a black belt) without the relational support of loved ones & your own worst enemy is yourself. As is with life it’s your choice whether you use it responsibly to help and protect those around you or for selfish prideful ambitions and maliciously inflict pain on others.
For me Martial Arts began as a coping mechanism to deal with a wounded and broken world. Somewhere along the way it helped heal and transform me and turned into a passion. My Chief Instructor Jared Giordano has had a major impact on my life and I am extremely thankful for everything he has done to help me become a better human being. I am also grateful to all my friends and family who have stood by me in support these past few months and years. You guys make life worth living and I will forever deeply love each and every one of you.
August 2nd, 2011
Ready To Love Again- Lady Antebellum
This song couldn’t possibly more applicable in my life right now :)
July 14th, 2011
Guardian Angels
Today I went and visited my High School AP Literature teacher Ms. Darovic and her two adorable children Tanya and Sebastian. I have always been horrible with goodbyes and the best they can ever be for me is bitter sweet. Yet I am thankful that I was able to see them one final time before they move away.
I consider Ms. Darovic to be one of the handful of people who have significantly impacted my life. There is not a shred of doubt that without her love, support, and guidance over the years I would not be the strong, confidant, successful, loving, compassionate woman I am today. I vividly remember the first day as her student thinking to myself “This will be a breeze” when I witnessed the atrocious grammar and spelling mistakes in my peers introduction papers. Much to my dismay and irritation she did not grade my work on a curve compared to my other classmates. She had no problem calling me out on my BS when I failed to read the text. She would hand back my papers and tell me to rewrite them when she knew I was capable of far better work than I was putting out. Her dedication is the reason I was one of the few students at Paloma to pass the AP Lit exam that year. She never allowed me to settle for mediocre and because of this she is and will always be one of my favorite and most influential teachers.
After I turned 18 she lovingly and graciously accepted me into her home so that I could graduate, walk with my class and receive my High School diploma. Her vegan/vegetarian ways rubbed off on me and I began creating more nutritious and healthy eating habits. After High School I would come back time to time just to catch up. After I was assaulted on my college campus her support, gentleness, and words of wisdom were my life vest to prevent me from drowning in the midst of a torrential storm. Her understanding and encouragement gave me the strength to push forward when all I wanted to do was quit.
So today, with a heavy heart I choked back tears as we exchanged goodbye hugs knowing that I am truly blessed to have such an amazing woman as a role model. I believe sometimes God sends people to intervene and save us from ourselves. Ms. Darvoic’s role in my life as teacher, mentor, friend, adopted mom, landlord, and confidant will forever remain imprinted and cherished in my soul.
July 13th, 2011
(Source: whatisthesixto, via stbigman)
July 9th, 2011
A Heart Like Mine- Miranda Lambert
July 9th, 2011
June 22nd, 2011
My friend Laura and I at the Edge comedy club
June 22nd, 2011
